Thursday Born

The everyday life of a psychiatry resident (who was born on a Thursday).

Longing for a sense of Belonging.

with 4 comments

Third year medical students are a bit like nomads, or refugees. I guess fourth year medical students are too, but I think by that point you’ve embraced your situation. During first and second year, we lots of dedicated, comfortable, official space. Third years? We have whatever space we can stake a claim to, always ready for a Resident or Attending or Nurse, someone who actually needs the computer or desk space for patient care, to displace us. Sometimes we return to the first and second year carrels, because we don’t know where else to go, or we head to the library.

What’s starting to actually get to me though, is the switching teams every 2 to 4 weeks. Sometimes you have a team of Residents and Attendings that you become really fond of, and then next thing you know, you’re working with a whole new group of doctors, and a whole new patient population. And sometimes it’s as small and simple as today, where I spent a half day in a Multiple Sclerosis specialist’s clinic, and at the end of the day she said I was welcome back anytime and that she enjoyed having me around, and I really liked her and really would love to spend more time with her, but I’m not going to, because it doesn’t really work with my schedule. This makes me kind of sad.

Also today, one of my Attendings from my PM&R rotation walked by us in the hallway, and he’s another person I really enjoyed working with (and I got a glowing end of rotation evaluation from him). I’m half-considering doing another PM&R rotation during my fourth year, just because I had such a good experience, even though I don’t think that field is for me. And I worry a tiny bit about letting down one of the ENT Attendings I got official feedback from, who asked me if I knew what I wanted to do yet, and said that if I end up considering ENT, I should let him know.

I can’t do every specialty. I’m going to have to pick someday. And for some reason it bothers me in a tiny but not entirely insignificant way that I won’t be doing what most of the Attendings and Residents I’ll work with and like are doing.

On the one hand, I think this is a great sign, that I get fairly easily attached to the sorts of people I’m going to be spending so much of my future career with. On the other hand, I’m really looking forward to finding my niche, my people, and “settling down” a bit. You still rotate around a lot as a Resident, but there’s a somewhat smaller core of people that you belong to.

Having a sense of belonging is very important to me, apparently. I’m not sure why.

Written by Aba

September 19, 2011 at 8:40 pm

4 Responses

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  1. I totally understand what you mean. Moving around so much is kind of hard, especially when you go from a great group of residents to ones that are only okay…


    September 20, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    • Yeah, that definitely sucks. =/ I’m starting to realize how right people must be when they say that on residency interviews, you have to treat your entire stay as the interview, because they’re constantly evaluating whether they want to work with you for 3-7years, and you can’t fault them for that. It’s so important that the team works.


      September 20, 2011 at 8:17 pm

  2. EXACTLY. Thank you for putting words to what I’ve been feeling lately. I hope you find a comfortable space with time. :)


    September 29, 2011 at 11:00 am

    • I hope you do too! And I’m glad I’m not alone in feeling this way. :)


      October 2, 2011 at 9:10 am

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