Thursday Born

I’m not very close to the grand majority of my classmates, but I know everyone by name (well, except for many of the MSTPs who have joined our class this year) and can comfortably talk to them all. Third year has made it even easier to chat, because at the very least there’s the “Hey! How’re you doing? What rotation are you on?” conversation to have.

I bumped into someone in the library last night. We haven’t ever really hung out and we haven’t had any rotations together, but there’s been one or two other times we’ve found ourselves in the same place and had a brief exchange. This time we commiserated over how strange and arbitrary the grading can seem third year, and she said “Can we bond over this?” I laughed and we hugged. It was cute and sweet and unexpected. =)

I’m really excited for our match day (March 2013! yes it’s already on my calendar), to see where and what we’re all going to build on our medical school foundations. There’ve been a few surprises already even with people I thought I knew well (though when I think back, I never did have a clear idea of what I thought that friend would go into) and a few “well, obviously that’s what they’re going into!” Myself? I’m still unsure. I haven’t outright hated anything, and there’s a lot I can see myself fairly satisfied with. I have a suspicion that I’m going to end up in Psychiatry, but I haven’t done Ob/Gyn yet (which is what I came into med school thinking about) and I haven’t even done Internal Medicine yet!

For the most part, I’m a really mellow person. I’m also a big procrastinator, but I always make my deadlines; I just cut it very, very close. Obviously I’m not a complete good-for-nothing slacker, but I’m definitely not a member of the neurotic, Type A medical student club.

I’m not sure I’m entirely Type B though. When I get an idea in my head (“Oh hey! I should put up that last curtain!”) then I really, really just want to do it. Right now! This is how most of my random cooking or craft projects happen. I see a nifty recipe online and I must try it asap! So I do.

Unfortunately, I’m still at a point in life where I have exams every 4-12 weeks, and sometimes those exams are only three days away. In which case, as much as I really, really want to put up that last curtain, I’ve learned to say to myself “No, that curtain can wait till after my Shelf exam.” And for the most part, I don’t dwell on it and I can get back to studying.

(But it would only take like, a half hour! Argh.)

I wake up early. As a kid at sleepovers, I’d wake up before my host and spend the first hour or two of the morning raiding their bookshelf.

I’m not sure if it’s just that I need less sleep than other people or if I’m naturally a morning person, but ever since college at least, I’ve found it too easy to stay up late doing nothing in particular. There’s a strange allure to being awake at odd hours of the night, engrossed in chatting with someone or in reading various somethings. But one year, after spending two months in Ghana for the summer, then immediately returning to college without changing my sleep schedule, I found that waking up early in the morning, at 3am or 4am, brought that same magical focus but with better energy.

I tend to be late, or barely on time, if I try to wake up with just a half hour or so at home before I need to leave. I wake up, notice all the things I meant to do the night before, and being awake and alert, I start tackling them. And then oh no! I realize I was supposed to leave five minutes ago. So I’m finally giving in to the fact that I am incredibly unproductive at the end of my work days, but very productive in the morning, and I’m going to try to adjust my schedule so that I wake up at least two hours before I need to be at the hospital. This might even give me enough time to get hungry and eat breakfast before I head out!

There is a decent chance that I’ll give up on this, but I think it’s worth a shot. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!

I partied in the New Year with my family  at our annual big NYE party. There was good food, an open bar, and, of course, lots of dancing. And my boyfriend (who’s eight hours behind me right now) did a rather admirable job of calling me right as we’d finished our countdown, which was really sweet and made me happy even though I could barely hear him over the crowd. =)

I leave Ghana tonight, and I’m really going to miss my family and the weather and the food and the lack of responsibilities, but I admit I miss my apartment. I’m very much a homebody and I really enjoy being in a space I’ve nested and settled into thoroughly.

Getting ready for the party! (this pic is blurrier than I thought)

Ready! Added a lacy bandeau =)

Party over! Time to sleep!

One of my old favorite authors is Neil Gaiman, and sometimes he puts together a nice little New Year’s wish. You can click here to read the entire post, which I very much think is worth reading, but here’s what he wrote for 2012:

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”

I hope not to make mistakes of the sort that might harm a patient, but it really is so important to act. To do. To try. Making decisions instead of ending up somewhere by default because you’re paralyzed by indecision (or at least embrace the default option! Make it yours!). I’ve gotten more okay with saying “I don’t know,” when asked questions in the hospital, which I think is important. But I need to be more comfortable with trying to answer, because yeah, there are times when I do and I’m wrong and I feel like an idiot, but there’s also so many times I don’t say anything and not only was I right, but what I wanted to say turned out to be an answer the Attending was going to be impressed by. I may not be a walking encyclopedia of medical knowledge like a few of my classmates, but I have learned a lot, and I need to trust my fund of knowledge more.

Happy New Year, dear readers! I hope that however 2012 turns out for you, it’s at the very least a year you can look back on and be grateful you lived it.

Forgiveness – What one thing do you need to forgive yourself for this year?

and

Thought: What new thought, idea or action have you taken this year that gave you a true sense of freedom?

I had trouble thinking of new and interesting responses to both these prompts. For forgiveness, it would be, as usual, not studying even just a little bit harder. Even though time and time again I’ve heard that setting aside just one hour every day to read something medicine related is one of the best things I can do to be the best doctor I can be, I still struggle with it.

As for freedom, well, the major things were getting my driver’s license and a car, and moving into an apartment without a roommate, both of which I’ve already talked a lot about.

Freedom is a wonderful thing, but it’s a transition state.  It’s not an end goal; it’s simply the beginning. Having a car means I get to go places on my own, whenever I have the time, and living by myself means I feel more comfortable, more free, to be exactly who I want to be and live how I want to live when I’m at home. Freedom is being free to do. Freedom is potential, which is wasted without action. When opportunity knocks, you don’t rest in peace knowing that the chance came and went. You open the door. What good is freedom if you don’t make any choices or do anything with it? I decided to go to medical school, which has meant that I’ve not done so many other things in all these years. I will need to pick a field for Residency, which means I will not have specialized in other fields, and I will be in one place for Residency, which means I won’t have lived in so many different places.

And that’s okay. That’s good. That’s what freedom is really about, in my opinion.

Ok, I’m kind of cheating here and not actually using any of the prompts because I didn’t like them. It was talking about a Memorable Gift vs talking about who I love and why (which I think I’ve already done quite a few times already). But I’ve decided that my main goal with this Reverb thing is just to get me posting and renewing my own interest in blogging, so I consider posting today at all meets my goals.

So anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you’ve all found or will find soon some time to rest and/or be merry for at least a few hours. I know many of you are working for at least part of the holiday season, and I’m well aware that it won’t be long till I will be too.

I leave you with photos of my niece proving just how difficult it can be to take a picture of a two year old:

(Extravagant background of presents is actually various gift hampers full of food items from businesses which always end up being donated).

Travel - Did you visit anywhere new this year?  Any plans to travel next year?

I think the only new place I went this year was Toronto, as a quick pre-Christmas in Ghana (where my family is from, where my parents still live, and where my brothers and my parents always meet-up once a year for the holidays) trip. My boyfriend, Ahmet, has family there (wonderful people & excellent hosts), and he hasn’t visited them in years, so we finally committed to going this year. He’s still there, and I’m in Ghana now.

I liked Toronto, but I’ll have to go back when it’s warm and I’m less burned out from school, because I’d like to explore a bit more. But all the food I ate there was excellent (best sushi I’ve had in years!), and it seemed like a really nice city, and a rapidly growing one (so much construction!) It was weird for me because it felt like I was still in the US, which I guess makes sense, because it’s still North America. People’s accents weren’t noticeably different either. So honestly, it barely felt like I’d traveled.

Next year I have no exotic travel plans, just the usuals: Seattle when it’s my turn to visit my boyfriend, DC when my parents are visiting the US (DC is their US home base), and Ghana again for Christmas. However, fingers crossed, I’ll be interviewing for Residency toward the end of next year, so that should be fun. I really enjoyed interviewing for Medical School, so I’m hoping Residency Interviews will be fun too, though far more expensive. I’m going to miss being on the East Coast and cheaply taking the train to the majority of my interviews.

Now 2013, the year I graduate, that should be a good travel year. No plans yet to go anywhere new, but I think the places I’ve been to/usually go to are sufficient for some exciting times (Turkey, Ghana, Ecuador, maybe Canada again? A classmate of mine from Toronto is planning to get married around then).

I’m done with Emergency Medicine and have moved onto Pediatrics! I also finally got my driver’s license, got a car (rather, my parents bought a car for me. Yes, I am aware of how amazingly awesome and wonderful that is and how lucky and blessed I am), and finally made some (deliciously tasty) soup after months of really meaning to.

There are many posts that have been brewing in my head, but I keep forgetting about my blog until I’m about to go to bed. It’s also December, which was the month I did Reverb10 last year (a post a day writing challenge thing) and I meant to find another one to do this year. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll remember in time and see what I can do about catching up to one.

So I leave you with the knowledge that my life has been busy lately, as usual, but in a good, happy way. And that the Children’s Hospital here is the best place ever for having XS scrubs in their scrub machines, because I swim in the S ones.

Goodnight!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I admit I think it’s a bit of an odd holiday, but I can’t complain about an excuse to get two days off from my rotation (we get Thursday & Friday off, but many of us are working Saturday or Sunday, if not both days), and to gather with people I’m fond of and love and cook a huge meal.  Also, online sales.

So I’m baking a Turkey, the neck and giblets are stewing as a base for gravy, and I’ve got stuffing and a sweet potato casserole ready in the fridge and waiting to be baked once the Turkey is done. Once the Turkey’s done, I’m heading over to a classmate’s apartment and celebrating with my boyfriend, Ahmet, who’s in town, and with a few other classmates+significant others.

I wanted to do a longer post, because I’ve got a lot to be thankful for in my life right now, but I’m a bit busy living that life and really should get back to it. =)

Sometimes, when you get out of the hospital at a decent hour, you just need to go on a bike ride on a beautiful Fall day, testing out the new baskets you finally installed on your bike. I biked to my old apartment, dropped off a birthday present for one of my friends, played with the adorable dog of another (and picked up some delicious baked goods!) then biked home. Yes, I had my Psychiatry Shelf exam in a few days, but when you can’t just take a random day off for your mental health, a couple of hours in the afternoon might do the trick.