Thursday Born

Passion - If you could quit your day job and your quality of life wouldn’t change, what would you do?

I used to wonder about this, back when I was a first and second year and still unsure about this whole medical thing. What if I had enough money such that I didn’t need to work? Would I have even considered going to medical school or would I have pursued technical theater or writing as career options?

I actually still would be interested in medicine, even if I didn’t need the money, but I would want to work part time. Actual part time. Not the fake part time some doctors work which just means they work hours that equal full time for most careers. And then in my “free” time, I would pursue more artistic and crafty endeavors. I do love to write, and still plan to write a novel someday, or at least write some short plays again. I also love to make things with my hands, and I’d love to have more time for larger scale projects. In high school I did a lot of set building and I miss working with power tools. I’m also quite fond of edible “crafts,” like cooking, baking, candy making, and brewing alcohol.

I intend to do all these things anyway, and I have been, but at a much slower pace than I’d like to because I just don’t have the time to tackle multiple large projects at once. And I know it’ll be even more difficult if I have children. But I like a challenge, and I like to keep busy.

Do you remember any of your goals and resolutions from 2011?
What were they? Did you accomplish them? If not, why not?

My New Year’s Resolution was to work harder and play harder, and I think I might carry that through to 2012.

I struggle a lot with procrastination and time management, and often find myself doing just okay in terms of grades and not really using my free time to do the things I really want to do. I’ve improved a lot this year, and have been working on doing a little bit of studying every day, and also letting myself do things like slowly work my way through the long, long list of TV shows and movies in my netflix Instant Watch queue. It feels like I shouldn’t be watching TV shows when I get home from the hospital, but if I don’t watch TV shows, I  just use the time to browse the internet mindlessly, which is even worse.

This all goes back to my 2010 resolution, which was to simply be more Mindful. But I like saying that my New Year’s Resolution is to Work and Play Harder. It sounds more fun!

Friendship - What kind of a friend were you in 2011? What kind of a friend do you want to be in 2012?

I haven’t been a great friend, especially after I started rotations. I show up for the important things, like birthdays, and helping people move, or when they have friends visiting and we’re all going out to brunch together, but I haven’t really been around.

I’m introverted and need a lot of down time, and I happen to have picked a future career that means I’m around people all day and actually interacting with them, meaning that when I get home, hanging out with my friends is not what I want to do. Making matters worse, I often only get one day off a week. Do I really want to hang out with them on my one day I get to sleep in and do chores and run errands and vegetate online? More often than not… unfortunately, no. Or rather, I do want to, but it feels like it takes too much effort to get myself out of my apartment on the one day I don’t have to.

I’m really hoping that now that I can drive over, it will make hanging out seem like something that takes less effort so I’ll do it more often. I might not see them every week, but I think I’d like to see my friends more often in 2012 than I did in 2011.

I realize that this might make it sound like I’m completely anti-social and a hermit, but I’m really not. I’m just that busy and that wiped out from being in the hospital. I do keep in touch with my friends over the internet, and I’m in daily contact with my boyfriend (which is apparently not necessarily the norm in long distance relationships, which I admit I find odd. Why wouldn’t you talk to your boyfriend every day? Even just briefly?). Also, when I’m on my rotations, I’m working with other medical students and residents and it’s not all work work work. We do casually socialize, and I guess that tends to fill my daily interaction quota.

Given all of this, you’d think I’d be interested in Radiology or Pathology. Unfortunately, I’m not. So far, every field I’m interested in is one where I’ll have to keep interacting with people all day. What can I say? I like to challenge myself. Apparently.

Being Moved - tell us about a time this year that you were moved by the generosity of another.

Things fall out of my white coat pockets All. The. Time. I’ve been meaning to find a belt holster for my phone because it can’t be long before I kill it (I have killed every phone I’ve ever owned by dropping it one times too many). I have gotten better now at carrying my coat in ways that things stay in the pockets, but accidents still happen.

So one day, much earlier into third year, I took the metro home and them walked the two or so blocks home,and I was sitting in my apartment, on my computer, when I hear some rather loud and insistent knocking on my door. It’s a bit odd given all my friends had keys to my old apartment, so they didn’t usually knock.

So I opened the door to find two random teenagers from my neighborhood, who handed me back the plastic ID holder I keep my metro pass, hospital cafeteria discount card, and credit card in, said “You dropped this” and then they barely gave me enough time to say thank you before turning around and leaving. They could have ignored it, but no, they tracked me down (I tend to actually fill out the info on the back of my metro pass, and this is the second time I’ve lost it and the second time it’s been returned to me because I do that) and gave it back to me and didn’t even give me time to come up with some way to reward them. I wish I could have at least offered them something to drink because it was really hot that day.

I know it’s not anything big, but I really appreciate it when people do little things like that, because it’s so easy not to. It’s hard to turn down someone you care about who really needs help. But to do something small for a stranger?

Family: Recall a special moment with your family from 2011.  Describe in detail what you want to remember about this memory forever.

It’s hard to think of one exact moment; my time with my family tends to become a happy blur of memories that often surround food and engaging, intelligent, and highly entertaining conversations, with the occasional quieter moments of us sitting around on our laptops and ipads and other various gadgets (concurrent with some snacking and imbibing of some alcoholic drink or another). I remember being surprised that my boyfriend was not a big fan of eating out at restaurants (but please note the past tense), because I have such incredibly fond memories of going out to eat with my family (though when I was much younger, I would usually fall asleep before my food arrived). I also have many, many memories of sitting in the kitchen and chatting with various combinations of family members at various hours, some normal, some quite odd.

So this year I’ve added some new variations of this theme to my mind. Eating cupcakes and drinking cognac for my mother’s birthday. Chinese food and a wonderful (cheap!) sparkling red wine one of my brothers discovered from Trader Joe’s. More post-church Sunday brunches at the Ritz when I visit my parents in DC. Happy memories of a pleasantly full stomach and a warmed heart.

Loathing - Who or what do you loathe and how have you expressed that in 2011?

Toilets that flush automatically. Gah! They just… they almost never get the timing right, and I’d much rather have a normal, manual flush mechanism. Upgrades that are really downgrades suck. How have I expressed this loathing? By generally avoiding airport bathrooms (which often are awful for other reasons anyway) unless I’m on a long trip (>6 or 7hrs).

Airplane bathrooms are a whole other horror story.

Teaching Moment - Sometimes we find teachers in the most unexpected places. Who surprised you as a teacher this year, and what did you learn?

Classmates. I knew I’d be learning from Residents and Attendings this year, but I didn’t expect to learn so much from classmates too. On a lot of my rotations I don’t get to work on the same team as my classmates, so I’m not exposed to other people’s presentations. When I do get to hear others present, it’s always a learning opportunity of either “Wow, that was amazing. I should do it that way.” or “Ah, yeah, that doesn’t work. I need to avoid saying things that way.”

There’s also a lot to be said for just having an idea of how other medical students function in this setting. I know what I’m like but I’m being graded based on how I compare to others, and sometimes it’s a little hard understanding how to improve when you’re not exposed to much variety. So I’m usually glad when I do get a chance to work with others.(Unless they’re a fourth year who’s just so back-breakingly awesome that it’s impossible for me to look good in comparison.)

There’s also the little tips and tricks we pass down, like which books to study from, or where to find the best free coffee, or which rotations have the best hours or are the better learning experiences, or what the codes are to the pantries so we can raid them for graham crackers and juice. Classmates really are a godsend these days.

Gratitude: What are the 5 things, people and moments you are grateful for in 2011?  What would you like to be grateful for in 2012?

I could get more creative with this list… But I’m batch-writing responses again because I feel behind again. Oops.

1. I like being in the hospital. I admit, I was worried. What happens if I just spent two years of my life studying to be something I don’t actually want to be? But I can now breath easy, having made my way halfway (+2 weeks) through my third year hospital rotations, and overall, having enjoyed it.

2. My parents and my family. Normally this would be my parents and my brothers, but now I have two sisters in law and a niece. I like that my family is growing, and I’ve been very happy with both the original set and all the new additions. Really looking forward to seeing everyone all together this Christmas. Definitely my favorite time of this year! But I do admit that my parents and my brothers get a special mention.I only see everyone a handful of times a year, and I’m not very good at staying in touch in-between these meetings, but it is a constant source of comfort to know that they’re all out there and that we call care very much about each other.

3. My boyfriend.  Next March will be our fifth anniversary. We’ve been in a long distance relationship since I started medical school, and it’s been hard all the time and really hard some times. We both have times when we get really frustrated with the distance, but in the end we both agree that this has been worth it, and we believe it will continue to be worth it.

4. The internet, computers, and smartphones. <3

5. My car. Seriously, I love this thing. I’m not a car person, still don’t know much about them, and didn’t even pick out what kind of car I got ( I picked the color though!), but I am quickly becoming very fond of my car. Which is good, because this is my car and this will be my car for a long, long time. It’s a Toyota, and I intend to own it for many, many years.

What would I like to be grateful for in 2012? I want to continue to find things about becoming a doctor that make me glad that I decided to do this. Beyond that… I don’t know.

What is Reverb11?

What was your biggest indulgence in 2011? This can be anything – something materialistic, emotional, etc – what was something you truly let yourself indulge in?

Moving into a new apartment. There are many reasons why it wasn’t exactly an indulgence, and it was at my parents’ very strong insistence, but in the end a lot of it does feel very indulgent. It’s a cute little studio with hardwood floors, an in-unit washer and dryer, and an adorable little kitchen. It’s very easy walking and biking distance from my med school/hospital, and it’s in an area with a lot more restaurants and shops. And, of course, it’s also quite a bit more expensive than my previous living situation.

I’ve been very happy living on my own again. Knowing where everything is. Never being surprised by a sink full of a dishes when I’m in a hurry. Never worrying about having to be quiet when I’m coming and going at odd hours. I do miss living in the same building as my main social circle, but now that I have a car, I can stop by more often.

My place is a bit cleaner than this right now, and I even have curtains up finally! But I can’t say that it doesn’t revert to this state on occasion (when you live by yourself and have a queen size bed and a couch, you tend to use those surfaces for clean laundry that hasn’t yet made it back into the closet. Or maybe that’s just me?).

What is Reverb11?

12 Things - What are 12 things your life doesn’t need in 2012? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 12 things change your life? (Props to original Author: Sam Davidson)  If you did Reverb10, how are you making out on your 11 Things from last year?

Since I’m going to go through last year’s list, I’m not going to make a big list of twelve things right now, but looking around my apartment, I’m sure there are more than twelve material possessions that I’ll be getting rid of soon. My next move is (fingers crossed!) going to be a big trip, and I don’t want to take a lot of junk with me. Through boarding school, college, and now medical school, I’ve accumulated a lot of odds and ends that need to stop traveling with me. A lot of people my age still have a lot of their material possessions in their parent’s homes, but I actually have most of my things with me, minus some stuff from early childhood and my pre-teen years. I don’t own an exorbitant amount of goods, but there’s no point in keeping things that I don’t use or that don’t have significant sentimental value. The ideal would be to move with only as much stuff as I can fit in my car and sell all my furniture, but I do have a red armchair I’m really fond of and I’m not sure I’ll be willing to part with it.

Last year’s 11 things were:

1. A bad Step 1 score. - I did alright.

2. Pass Grades on my Tests – Yup! All High Passes and Honors from that point on so far.

3. More Loans – Well, I have taken out more loans, but not as much as prior years, so that’s been nice.

4. An ego – This was in the context of making sure I’m a good team player, which was a bit of a silly item to put on the list because I am a good team player by nature. But anyway, yeah, Interpersonal Skills are not something I’ve had an issue with.

5. More Foods Ruined – Sigh. Why are doctors so fond of describing disease presentations using food words?

6. More Blogs in Google Reader – I’ve been pretty good about this. I still have a hefty list that has been growing, but it’s manageable.

7. A Caffeine Addiction – Success! I only drink caffeine 2-3 times a week if I’ve had overnight call or several nights in a row of poor sleep. So caffeine still works for me at low doses and I don’t have to worry about withdrawal.

8. Sleep Deprivation – Eh. I could be better with this. I’ve been getting more sleep than I expected, but I’m still only well rested on the really, really light rotations.

9. A Bad Diet – Could also have handled this better. I need to get back into batch cooking so I can stop by greasy food at the cafeterias.

10. Favoring the future over the present – Haven’t been good with this. =/ I’m counting down till my match day and my graduation. I actually really like medical school now. Working agrees with me a lot more than actual school and going to lectures and things like that. But as I think I’ve mentioned before, I’m in a long distance relationship (and actually, not just with my boyfriend but with my family) and it gets a bit lonely out here in the Midwest on my own.

11. Being sick – Another big success! I was maybe a little congested for a few days earlier in the year, but it never blossomed into anything. With all the sniffly kids I’ve been seeing on pediatrics though, I’m not sure how much longer my health is going to last.